What Keeps Me Sane

I've been writing this blog for nearly two years now and it's occurred to me that I've never really written about a passion of mine. It seems appropriate to devote some time, especially at this point in my life, to reflect on capoeira and its effect on my life.

I started doing capoeira my junior year of college shortly after I discovered a club on campus. If there's one thing I wish I would have known then was the ridiculous pain I felt in my legs for a full week after that first day. And all I did was the most basic movements. Lesson learned: even though I went to the gym almost daily, I was out of shape. But despite the pain in my legs and developing callouses on my feet I kept up with it. The more I trained the more layers of the art were pealed away. I had already learned it took a certain level of fitness but also quickly saw the mental side of it. Capoeira is like playing chess with your body -- setting up an opponent to try to get the best of them. Then there's the music, that all-important and often misunderstood aspect of the art. People ask me why we chant while we play capoeira. Not chants -- songs. Capoeira, albeit a martial art, is about expression -- at least it is to me. The music is just one more aspect of expression that sometimes makes me lose myself and give into the moment.

Shortly after I started capoeira I attended a batizado, or baptism, and received my first belt. And I've never looked back. People have asked how long I expect to keep doing this 'thing'? I tell them I'll do it until I can no long physically handle it. This is my therapy. It's like asking Tiger Woods when he thinks he'll stop golfing. It's where I feel I belong -- what I require for a stable life.

Some people drink to excess to feel balanced. Some jog. Some play with their kids. I do capoeira. Capoeira is what calms me, challenges me and even sometimes defeats me. It puts me in my place if I'm feeling cocky and then come across a movement I can't grasp or maybe an opponent knocks me on my ass in a game. But capoeira also shows me a lot about myself. My body has done things I never thought it was capable of, and I've traveled places I never thought I'd see. I've performed in dozens of shows in front of thousands of people. After you put on a grass skirt and perform a dance most people think is nuts, fear of public speaking is no longer an issue. The confidence I -- and I feel all the other men and women I train with -- now have thanks to this art is incredible. Talk about breaking someone out of their shell. And after doing capoeira for four years and now to see that transformation in beginners is wonderful. People I think are often afraid of even the idea that they could start training capoeira. "I'm too out of shape." "I'm a woman." "I can't sing." "I'm shy." "My balance sucks." Guess what? Where do you think everyone started out? At the bottom. When people start capoeira they make a decision to find out something new about themselves. The incredible thing is they don't even know what they'll find. They start capoeira as nothing more than an aerobic exercise or a self defense class and then six months later they're learning the show dances, singing songs and loving every aspect of it. They change into a more confident person. I love that.

When I do capoeira nothing else matters. I can have the worst possible day and not 10 minutes after I walk into the academy I'm in a different place. My mind is clear. I can't think of anything weighing me down. Compare it to some people's experience with religion. Or like what I think a heroin addict feels while high. Except instead of sitting next to a dumpster stoned in an alley I'm exercising my mind and body -- elevating my state of mind and enjoying my friends.

Capoeira is a lifestyle. Maybe that's what scares some people away. They're not ready to stop eating fast food, stretch, lift some weights, sing outside of the car or shower or just push themselves. That's fine. Not all people are ready to discover themselves at the same instant -- or even in the same way.

Capoeira is a difficult thing to explain to other people. They ask why I do it or what it is. I explain as best I can. But what it comes down to is I'd be lost without capoeira. It gives me balance in my mind and strength in my body and spirit. I've met some amazing people. Made incredible friends. I've traveled to beautiful cities. Played on beaches. In parking lots. In the middle of the street. Played in front of hundreds of people and in front of no one and felt the same high. I'll continue to do so until my body no longer lets me. Because I know that's the only thing that'd ever get me to stop this incredible art form.

America's True National Pastime Lasts One Month

Don't be deceived by those old school, backward-looking people who still think baseball is America's national pastime. So, so wrong. Baseball lasts nine months out of the year. Each game lasts nine torturous innings full of ground balls. Swings and misses. Walks. BUNTS. I won't sit here and pretend that I don't enjoy going to pro baseball games. 99.9% of the time the atmosphere is what makes it fun -- not the game.

Then take NCAA basketball. Specifically, March Madness. I don't think any other sport in the states has the intensity, passion, potential for upsets or deep-seeded rivalries. Men's basketball accomplishes in 31 days what I feel its closest rival, NFL Football, takes months to build up to. (Keep in mind no sport in the USA will ever drive people to do this, but that's a bit too intense for me.)

In what other sport do people devote their entire day to cheering for teams that during the regular season they may hate? What other sport drives people to try to predict who will win it all? Sure, there's Fantasy Football, but that's a make-believe team made up of the league's best (one hopes). In men's bball you're stuck with the team you love, flaws and all. Sometimes they surprise you and go the distance. Sometimes they surprise you and break your heart by losing.

I think in NCAA mens bball you'll find the most passionate fans and most exciting, ridiculous games. I'll take the no-holds-barred back and forth pace and balls-out effort of guys playing for one brief year of glory over an army of over paid, over steriod abusing "athletes" wearing tight pants and standing around for two hours any day.

PS: Go Jayhawks.

Happy St. Me Day

Be sure to wear green today in honor of me, or I will pinch you. And listen to this song. Granted, it's a Scottish song, but played by an Irish-American band. So it's fitting for my Scotch-Irishness. Have a fun and safe day.

Job-related Updates

Recovery from recent events is in full swing. I'll continue to post on my progress. But today I wanted to post about some updates involving the never-ending search for work.

A good friend of mine who's an artist/graphic designer in the area called me out of the blue last week regarding some freelance opportunities. Turns out he'd like some help writing web content for a client. That work began trickling in this week and we'll see what he has in store for me in the coming weeks. Honestly I'm just glad to be doing something productive. It's so easy to feel worthless or lazy just because you didn't drive to an office an 'do' something for eight hours.

My friend, as I mentioned, is an artist. Specifically focused in comic book art. Another suggestion of his was for me to send him some stories to be treated as comic books. I guess there's no superhero prerequisite for a comic storyline, so I hope to send him some work soon.

I feel like I have opportunities right now. Nothing major like a 9-5 job lined up, but the little freelance I'm doing, the short story writing and the idea of writing out my experiences from the past two years into a screenplay make me feel like I have potential again. I like that feeling.

And it's all thanks to an unexpected phone call from a friend. People continue to surprise me.

Watchmen to a Layman (no spoilers)

"Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' And I'll whisper 'no'." -- Rorschach

*Note: Though I am not a comic reader I have read Watchmen...twice. It was assigned reading in college, believe it or not.

I know what you're thinking -- deep, right? Or brooding, perhaps. Or, if you're anything like me, more like "what the hell is he talking about?" This is the opening quote from Watchmen, the oft cited 'best graphic novel ever' which 300 director Zach Snyder has now committed to the silver screen. Here's my take, from a non-comic reader's perspective, on the mouthful that is Watchmen, and what you may want to know before seeing this epic. Or, you can read the graphic novel (which you should) if you don't mind waiting about a week before you see the film. Because that's about how long it'll take for you to read it.

Remember the movie Troy? Brad Pitt in a skirt? Eric Bana not acting Australian...again? That elf from Lord of the Rings? Well that's based on Homer's epic poem The Iliad. It's a brick house of a book. Trying to read, soak up, analyze and 'get' Watchmen in novel form takes about as long as it does to sift through Homer's ramblings. And Watchmen has pictures, even!

But, like any adaptation, Watchmen on film contains about 3/4 as much story as the novel does. That's a shitload for any adaptation, but much is still left out. So from one comic layperson to another, here's what you might like to know.

In a nutshell, Watchmen shows us a parallel world where it's 1985. But not the typical Gellies-wearing '85. This is darker. Think Back to the Future Part 2 with Biff in charge. Circa WWII some New York policemen, tired of criminals dodging charges because of the masks they wear, decide they'll wear masks, too. Become vigilantes and pick up where the system leaves off. So they do -- and it works. Streets are safer. They become anonymous heroes. Then one by one they start dropping from the service. Retirement. Death. And so on. Eventually Congress outlaws masks, pushing the Watchmen (or Minutemen as they were originally named) into hiding and obscurity.

Now fast forward about 40 years. Nixon is in his third term as President thanks to his victory in Vietnam. He sent Dr. Manhattan, the only Watchmen with any actual superpowers who is about two steps short of being a god, over to the rice paddies to liquidate that pesky VC problem. Literally. But, since then the Commies aren't too keen on Dr. Manhattan's ability to blow up Moscow with a fart, especially since he's on Uncle Sam's payroll. The Cold War escalates. The Doomsday Clock advances to five minutes until midnight (and midnight is when the USA and USSR take it outside to duke it out...with 50,000 nukes).

So emotions run high. People are tense. Civilization is entering anarchy as the end of the world seems just a few short days away. Great time to be alive, huh?

The film basically takes us through a few days during this period, when another Watchmen, The Comedian, is murdered. From there the remaining Watchmen attempt to piece together the reasons for his tumble out of a 30 story window and in doing so discover a nasty, Earth-shattering plot. They also discover quite a bit about themselves in the process. Some good, some bad.

This is a Shakespearean tragedy, through and through. Old friendships are put to the test. Romances develop in the wake of chaotic events. Lots of people die. The storytelling is great. Like is said, deep and brooding. But it really heightens the intensity of the setting.

A bit about the characters:

- The Comedian: a Captain America-inspired crime fighter. Bit of a megalomaniac. Works for the government in "mediating" with hostile countries. Enjoys his work a little too much.

- Rorschach: think Batman with a chip on his shoulder. Everything is black and white (including his face). Never compromises to see justice is served.

- Silk Spectre: pretty, smart and deadly. Daughter of the original Silk Spectre, now retired. Girlfriend of Dr. Manhattan.

- Dr. Manhattan: super smart physicist who makes a simple mistake once day and ends up de-atomized...or re-atomized...or maybe just atomized. It's confusing. All you need to know is something happened to him, turned him blue and all powerful. He can teleport, live in space and can see the future. But only his own future. Also works for the government basically as a glowing reminder to the Soviets that we have a leg up on then when it comes to nukes...because Dr. Manhattan IS a nuke.

- Ozymandias: the world's smartest man. Retired from crime fighting and revealed his identity to the world. Now makes billions selling toys and is a titan of other industries. He also has a thing for ancient rulers (hence his name, the Greek name for Ramses II).

- Nite Owl: uber-nerd crime fighter with an owl-head-shaped jet. Lots of fun crime fighting toys. Not so good with the ladies. Something of an inferiority complex. But a loyal friend.

Now on to the nuts and bolts:

- This movie is LONG. Two hours and 43 minutes to be exact. Empty your bladder before the show because if you step out you might miss something important.

- Incredible CGI effects. Dr. Manhattan is entirely motion-captured and as far as I'm concerned the best-looking former human being I've seen on screen. Not near as weird as the baddies from I Am Legend.

- Lots of violence and gore. Plenty of broken bones, broken glass and one colorful incident involving a circular saw. This is from the director of 300, mind you.

- That reminds me -- lots of random slow motions as well.

- Pay attention to the dialogue. The plot is complex but try to stick with it. The ending will make much more sense.

- Lots of flash backs. They provide insight into the characters as they are now. Also important.

- Boobs, butts and penis. Plenty of all three. Dr. Manhattan, in his infinite wisdom, sees no need for clothing. I defy you to try to not stare at his slushee-blue-colored dong.

All in all, for a layman, it's an entertaining film. Just be prepared for the long parts (and blue tender parts). Lots of action to eat popcorn to. Lots of intellectual undertones that make this more than a typical comic book superhero movie. Because after all, other than Dr. Manhattan, these are all normal (sort of) people. No special powers, just a desire to serve the greater good. And they do, but it ain't easy. If it was, why would we pay $9 to see it?

So there you have it. Hopefully this helps put Watchmen into perspective for all you "normal" people out there interested in seeing this film. If I left anything out, well, that's what the comment section is for. Enjoy the show.

A Monument

So the move went on as scheduled on Saturday. All completed in about three hours despite nature's best efforts to thwart it. In case you were under a rock in KC on Saturday this is what I moved in:
Four inches of snow. On the ground. All day. Sufficed to say I was very glad I wrapped my brand new mattress in plastic wrap.

So now I've left my deluxe apartment in the sky for a spare room and a twin bed. Meanwhile my entire life sits neatly arranged and packaged here.

On a more candid note I went back to the apartment to turn in my keys but spent a few minutes in the apartment by myself just to soak it all in. It was eerie and cold once vacant. But if I close my eyes I can see the good times that were hosted in that space. So many warm nights. So many parties and good times. But there were also dark times when I saw a side of her I didn't recognize. Times we spent as enemies over what now seem like trivial arguments. So many fond memories but yet so much heartache. I feel that sums up our relationship quite well. But even though things have turned sour it didn't feel right not to treat the fond memories I have of our former home -- and of the two of us in general -- with some sort of earned respect. Because I fought for those good times. I struggled to try to make things work; we both did. So I left something behind. Something I felt represented our relationship as best as possible at this moment. It's surely gone now but I feel that I had to place something on the monument to what was.


For every ending there's a new beginning.