Post 100 -- Transformation

Transformation is a funny thing. It doesn’t occur in a vacuum – void of any catalyst. If only it did, we’d all be the person we want to be effortlessly. But alas, much as a caterpillar endures time in a dense cocoon, so must we endure the pressures of life from time to time.

I feel I’ve transformed these past few months. This blog certainly has – from the whimsy and musings of a young copywriter to the more recent deep foray into sharing my life. Though much of the whimsy remains – no one likes a sour puss. But I’ve come what I consider quite a long way since starting this blog. I’ve worked my dream job. I’ve eloped. I’ve lived the urban life. I’ve lost a dream job. I’ve divorced. And I’ve regressed – coming full circle. It’s true that you never know what life has in store for you. You think you do, but things rarely go as planned. Personally…I like that.

Had my life gone according to my original plan I’d be sitting in Iraq right now manning a machine gun counting the days until my discharge from the Marine Corps. Or if they’d gone according to more recent plans I’d be living in Chicago. Maybe working, maybe unemployed still. Maybe married. Maybe not. I’ll never know. What I do know is that I feel I’ve made the most of what began as a bad situation. I’ve survived the rocky road of unemployment. The tumult of divorce. The initial embarrassment of moving back home. It happened and I accepted it. And given the circumstances I feel I’ve become the better for it. But I didn’t do it alone.

I feel I’ve transformed certainly on a personal level. I appreciate what I have much more. I take less for granted and work harder for what I want. I also feel I’ve overcome some professional hurdles as well by ending my unemployment after six months and penning a soon-to-be published graphic novel with two close friends. I plan to continue writing (at and away from the office) and pursuing my dream of being a published, successful author/screenwriter. All while I pursue my passion in capoeira – learning, teaching and traveling.

To transform heartache into something good, I feel, is no easy feat. But if I can do it anyone can. I’d never thought I’d accomplish what I have these past few months. Sure, I have good days and bad. I hit bottom. Hard. But I feel I’ve since stood up and dusted myself off and carried on.

I thank everyone who’s helped me along my way – my family, the Cookes, Erick, everyone in Axé Capoeira, Alaide, Kris K. and of course everyone who reads this blog. Thank you for listening. For sharing. And for letting me share some of myself.